Oh, For Pete's Sake.

Of goblins and gospels
Evangelical Christians have decided that instead of boycotting Halloween, they're going to take advantage it -- by slipping Bible verses into kids' candy bags.

This is the sort of thing that makes me really embarrassed to say I'm a Christian. And I hate how often I feel compelled to say I'm embarrassed. It's not the Christianity that embarrasses me, it's the modern day Christians.

This article from Salon.com this weekend is a prime example of why so often I feel this way. If you have to proselytize by dropping cartoon booklets into trick-or-treaters' candy bags, then maybe you're not whole heartedly sold on what you say you believe. And maybe you don't even understand why you believe it. Handing out tracks is quite possibly the most passive way of introducing another human being to anything. Why don't you just talk about it? Why don't you just live it? Let your everyday life be your introduction to Christ-centered living.

Men and women spend so much time trying to master the art of attraction. The consensus has generally been, that mystery is what draws one sex to the other. It's that je ne sais quoi, that spark, that unknown whatever that makes a person come over to talk to you to learn more. And yet, to draw people to Christianity, the soul-saving, life-changing whole reason for being, we just throw it all out there. The stupid jargon. The morality tale-telling computer-generated vegetables. Christians even steal intellectual property in the name of "winning one over for Christ." (i.e., a wavy red and white Coca-Cola logo that actually says "Jesus Christ.") But I digress.

I phoned my big brother to check in on Sunday night. Your little sis is still alive and well in New York! And I was so excited to tell him about the mob of costumed children running the main thoroughfare in Queens. From early afternoon until about dinner time, the storefronts and restaurants were just bombarded by trick-or-treating princesses, monsters, and all of pop culture's favorite cartoon characters. He was tickled to hear I had fearless climbed aboard the "N" train with an adorable little 2 & 1/2 year-old devil earlier in the day. "New York kids take their Halloween seriously," he enthused. "That's good to hear. Middle America is so damn scared of it, they wanna take all the fun out of it and have Fall Festivals and crap."

By the time I was in high school, the "Fall Festival" was a full on, mass market trend. I can't say I ever encouraged the belief in all things scary and devilish. I'm close to 30 and I still hate to watch scary movies. Maybe I just feel that it's ironic, because the church youth group leader who's espousing the evils of Halloween has oft been proven to be the same guy who's cheating on his wife. Really, all I want are more free Slow Pokes and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and fewer Smarties and Jaw Breakers. The more houses I trick-or-treat, the higher the percentage of good stuff I'm likely to get.

There are few goody two shoes who are goody-goodier than I have been all my life. I've just always been that way. And so I find it odd within myself that I don't identify at all with fundamentalist Christianity. Maybe I fear God. Maybe I'm a big chicken. Maybe I try and employ Christ's directives within myself before I go telling anyone else he's going to hell. It's that beautiful struggle that hopefully entices someone out of their dark, miserable struggle to recognize that of God within himself. And when you realize that God is within, and without, and a safety, and a light, Halloween doesn't really seem all that threatening.